Unwavering Resolve: How to Make Aligned Decisions When Life Falls Apart

Most people believe clarity comes before action.

But real life doesn’t work that way.

Clarity usually shows up after things fall apart—when plans change, timelines collapse, and stress forces a decision you didn’t plan for.

That truth became very real for me while sitting for my National Board Certification exam to become a board-certified health and wellness coach.

When Everything Went Wrong—and I Had to Decide Anyway

The exam represented nearly ten months of coursework, studying, and preparation. I arrived an hour early, exactly as instructed—only to find out the authorization code I was given was incorrect.

What followed was nearly two hours of confusion. Phone calls. Waiting. Uncertainty.

At that moment, I had a choice.

I could reschedule and come back another day, or I could sit for the exam, already mentally taxed.

I asked myself a question I first learned in combat sports during a World Kickboxing Association title fight:

 “What would I do right now if I knew this was going to work out?”

I stayed. I sat for the exam.
And I passed.

Four years later, that decision has echoed forward—supporting the growth of Lifestyle of Fitness, hosting annual retreats, and expanding access to coaching through health insurance, HSA, and FSA options.

Why Stress Warps Decision-Making

There’s a physiological explanation for why moments like this feel overwhelming.

Under stress, control shifts away from the prefrontal cortex—the brain region responsible for reasoning, planning, and long-term thinking—and toward the amygdala, the brain’s threat-detection center.

Research shows acute stress impairs working memory, cognitive flexibility, and decision accuracy, pushing people toward short-term relief rather than long-term alignment (Arnsten, 2009).

This is why people abandon fitness routines, panic during health setbacks, or freeze during life transitions. The brain isn’t broken—it’s protecting you.

But survival mode is not where aligned decisions are made.

Alignment Over Certainty

Most people wait for certainty before acting.

Certainty rarely exists when it matters most.

Alignment, however, is available even in chaos.

Alignment asks:

• Does this action reflect who I want to be?
• Does it move me closer to the life I’m building?
• Would I still choose this if fear wasn’t driving the decision?

This framework shifts decisions from panic to purpose.

Identity Preserves Momentum

One practical tool I teach clients is the five-minute rule.

When life gets messy, the goal isn’t perfection—it’s identity preservation.

Five minutes of movement.
Five minutes of breathwork.
Five minutes of journaling.

Research shows that identity-based behaviors are more resilient under stress than outcome-based goals, making them more sustainable long-term (Verplanken & Sui, 2019).

Five minutes reinforces the signal: I am still the person who shows up.

Real-Time Disruption, Same Framework

Just days before this Office Hours session, our family faced another disruption. Our dog, Misha, suffered a severe leg fracture requiring emergency veterinary care and surgery—right as we were preparing to travel for workshops.

Plans shifted. Emotions ran high.

The same framework applied:
Pause. Breathe. Assess.
Act from alignment, not panic.

This difference—between reaction and response—is what separates burnout from resilience.

Why Community Matters

This is why the Lifestyle of Fitness Retreat exists.

Not because people lack information—but because big decisions are hard to make on their own.

Strong social support is associated with improved stress resilience, better health outcomes, and greater long-term adherence to behavior change (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010).

The retreat provides space to slow down, recalibrate, and make decisions from alignment rather than urgency.

The question remains:

What would you do if you knew it would work out?

Arnsten, A. F. T. (2009). Stress signalling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex structure and function. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(6), 410–422.

Verplanken, B., & Sui, J. (2019). Habit and identity: Behavioral, cognitive, affective, and motivational aspects of identity-based habits. European Review of Social Psychology, 30(1), 1–38.

Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk. PLoS Medicine, 7(7).

Watch Live + Shop + Join the Retreat

• Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@LifestyleOfFitness_LOF
• Shop featured products: https://www.amazon.com/shop/mikecaulo
• Retreat passes (in-person & remote):
  https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-lifestyle-retreat-tickets-1978706765200

Lifestyle of Fitness accepts Blue Cross Blue Shield, UnitedHealthcare, Aetna, and HSA/FSA for eligible coaching services. Learn more at lifestyleoffitness.com.